Mother-In-Law Demands to Name First Grandchild Despite Parents Objection and Proceeds to Post Desired Name on Social Media Without Parents’ Permission

Author image for Sienna Varady
Sienna Varady
Jan 23, 2024 11:00 AM EST

A first baby, the first litte bundle of joy to join the family. This joyace occasion generates a whole mix of emotions from all kinds of reason. Some can be overwhelmed with happiness, while others might feel a pang of jeoulosy. However, what happens when the jelousy comes from your mother? The one person who you believed will make your life easier consideirng you are preparing to bring a new person into the world.

The story below tells the story of a frustrated son. When OP and his wife finally learned they were expecting a child after a year of marriage, they were eager to tell their family. Things quickly turned south, though, when OP's mother declared that she would be the one to name the unborn child. OP's mother is passionate about the name Roger, even though her husband opposed the name she wanted for their baby years back. The couple (OP and his wife) urged her to give up the name, but despite their pleas, the mother thought it would be a great idea for her to share it with all of her loved ones on social media. So, on that note, read the story below to learn what happened between OP, his mother, and OP's wife! And after you're done, don't forget to read this about about the bride that is forced to include her estranged brother-in-law in the bridal party!

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  • 01
    She then sent a gift package with all the clothes and blanket with the name Rodger and she sent them to my wife and posted them on social media. This made people assume we had chosen the name Rodger.
    via Canva
  • 02
    AITA for telling my mom she has zero rights to name my wife's and my child and her opinion is not wanted or important here?
    via u/FatherlyBoo933
  • 03
    My mom is being the MIL in law from h I to my wife right now and I snapped at her recently over this and have laid some boundaries down, but I am questioning my reaction to her. So my wife Kenzie (25f) and I (25m) have been married for just over a year and we're expecting
    via u/FatherlyBoo933
  • 04
    our first child this year. This will be my parents first grandchild and this has caused some craziness from my mom. She has aimed most of this at Kenzie but I did step in when I learned how pushy my mom became. This started right after our pregnancy announcement. My mom went to
    via u/FatherlyBoo933
  • 05
    Kenzie and told her we should name our child Rodger if we had a boy and Elizabeth if we have a girl. Rodger was my mom's grandfather and she wanted to name me or one of my brothers Rodger but dad vetoed the name every time. Elizabeth is her favorite girl name and my dad vetoed that for my sister's too.
    via u/FatherlyBoo933
  • 06
    Kenzie told her we weren't really looking for name suggestions and we had discussed a few already. My mom told her the names were important and should be used. A couple of weeks after the first incident my mom asked Kenzie if
    via u/FatherlyBoo933
  • 07
    she knew whether baby Rodger or baby Elizabeth was joining the family. Kenzie told her neither of those names were in the running and we didn't know yet. Kenzie mentioned mom bringing up the names to me then but downplayed how pushy she was
    via u/FatherlyBoo933
  • 08
    being so I said nothing at that point. We learned we were having a boy and my mom became so pushy that she ordered blankets and clothes with the name Rodger embroidered on them. The first we knew of this is when she gave us a little door decoration with
    via u/FatherlyBoo933
  • 09
    the name Rodger on it. I told my mom then that we hadn't finalized a name yet and wouldn't be announcing it until after he's here anyway. She went to Kenzie yet again and told her she was p sing her off by refusing to comply. They
    via u/FatherlyBoo933
  • 10
    argued about it and Kenzie told me about it afterward. I went to talk to my mom and make some things clear and she asked why nobody in this family wanted to use the names she loved. I told her that was something she should work through herself
    via u/FatherlyBoo933
  • 11
    because we are not obligated to use them for her. She then sent a gift package with all the clothes and blanket with the name Rodger and she sent them to my wife and posted them on social media. This made people assume we had chosen
    via u/FatherlyBoo933
  • 12
    the name Rodger. This is when I lost it and went over to confront her about the pushiness. She told me it was important to take her opinion on board as my mom and our son's grandma. And that's when I told her she had zero rights to name our baby and her opinion wasn't wanted or
    via u/FatherlyBoo933
  • 13
    important here. My mom told me it was to dismiss her opinion and her feelings as unimportant and I should have more respect for her. It made me realize we need space from her right now but also I do wonder if I went too far. AITA?
    via u/FatherlyBoo933
  • 14
    SeApps63 2 hr. ago A ΝΤΑ ole Aficionado [10] I don't think you went far enough. You need to make these boundaries really, really clear with your mom up front. May I also suggest:
    via u/SeApps63
  • 15
    1. no more contacting Kenzie without also including you on the messages - you should be the only point of information between your parents at this stage
    via u/SeApps63
  • 16
    2. remind her that you are now mom and dad and make all the choices regarding your baby. There will be no 'comply with grandma' BS in your household
    via u/SeApps63
  • 17
    3. tell your mom you love her, and you're excited for her to be grandma, but this is not going to fly 4. tell her moving forward, you are not accepting suggestions to
    via u/SeApps63
  • 18
    suggestions to names, parenting styles, gear, or anything else and that you will ask if you need anything 5. ask for a public retraction on Facebook of the name
    via u/SeApps63
  • 19
    Good luck. This will get worse if you don't get it together immediately.
    via u/SeApps63
  • 20
    Bambi_H 2 hr. ago Yes, absolutely shut this down firmly. Refusing to comply? Much the same as your dad did when he declined Roger and Elizabeth for you and your sister? Maybe he can talk some sense into your mom.
    via u/Bambi_H
  • 21
    Ok_Conversation9750. 2 hr. ago Colo-rectal Surgeon [30] NTA and it's your mom who's gone to far. Tell her that Rodger is definitely off the table as far as names go, and she needs to let it go. Any more of that behavior from her will result in
    via u/Ok_Conversation9750
  • 22
    you contacting her physician about your concerns for her mental health, as she seems to be under the illusion that she's having a baby with you.
    via u/Ok_Conversation9750
  • 23
    DallasSherier · 1 hr. ago This. Tell mumsy no more Rodgering around.
    via u/DallasSherier
  • 24
    Plenty-Protection-72. 2 hr. ago You are NTA, but you would be if you let this continue. Definitely need strong boundaries, and low contact if necessary, especially since she's targeting your wife. Make sure she knows this is completely
    via u/Plenty-Protection-72
  • 25
    unacceptable behaviour and you will 100% not name your child Rodger no matter what she says. It's important to be firm here or she will continue like this.
    via u/Plenty-Protection-72
  • 26
    ColdstreamCapple 2 hr. ago Professor Emeritass [93] ΝΤΑ But from now on Kenzie should be telling you the moment your mom tries to ambush her If she's so insensitive to post a name she wants
    via u/ColdstreamCapple
  • 27
    on social media then you need to make sure she's NOWHERE near you when Kenzie is in labour as I wouldn't trust her not to pull anything at this point
    via u/ColdstreamCapple
  • 28
    If it were me the way she's going she'd have to wait until your son turns 18 to meet him but you do you
    via u/ColdstreamCapple
  • 29
    mangomoo2. 28 min. ago Kenzie should just stop talking to MIL without OP there. She shouldn't be dealing with any of that craziness
    via u/mangomoo2
  • 30
    Personal_Regular_569 · 2 hr. ago Honey, this only gets worse from here. A good therapist can help you set healthy boundaries with your mother. You haven't gone too far, you've barely made a dent. You
    via u/Personal_Regular_569
  • 31
    need to do better to protect your wife and child from her nonsense. I'd bet this isn't the first time she's bullied your wife, ask your wife to be honest about times your mom has pushed her limits.
    via u/Personal_Regular_569
  • 32
    Be kind to yourself. You deserve a soft life full of love and a family that contributes meaningfully to that. You are worthy. A good therapist can help.
    via u/Personal_Regular_569

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